The WTF Are You Watching?! Podcast

Lincoln chose another stinker, the 2011 Kellan Lutz/Samuel L. Jackson (because we all wanted THAT screen pairing) action borefest, Arena about a guy who has to fight people to the death for the adoring internet public. It's as interesting as it sounds. The fellas also unveil a brand new game on the program called "What the Fuck is That From?" wherein they quiz each other on film scores. It's pretty cool. Other things get spoken about also, and Kyle has some sobering news to share with Lincoln.

What do apiaries, top secret science facilities, awkward sex scenes, perpetually naked women, and wah-wah guitars have in common? They're all there to make up Invasion of the Bee Girls. The fellows also discuss Arrested Development, Planet of the Apes, one-syllable movies, and time-travel discrepancies in the Back to the Future movies.

You might think a movie starring Nicolas Cage would be, at the very least, entertaining. Stolen is the rare exception to that rule. But, the fellas watched it so they go ahead and talk about it. They also talk about Star Trek Into Darkness, James Bond news, and movie trailers. Bog standard What the Fuck, really.

This week, Lincoln and Kyle are joined by director of the web series White Liars, Neil Fennell, to discuss the 1995 Gen-X punk-nihilist sex-and-murder romp, The Doom Generation. Did it make the trio of reviewers angry and sad? You'll just have to listen to find out. But yes it did. A lot. Fuck this movie.

For Kyle's 29th birthday, he has chosen to speak about his favorite movies ever, Sergio Leone's Dollars Trilogy, those being A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965), and his number one fave, The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly (1966), all starring famous squinter and chair-berater Clint Eastwood. Expect a whole ton of film analysis and making-of information as well as Kyle geeking out like nobody's business.

And remember, when you have to shoot, shoot don't talk.

TWITTER: @lincolnlhayes, @FunctionalNerd, @WTFAreUWatching

A scheduling kerfuffle means that this week has no guest and void in the viewing. To combat this, Kyle hastily chose Silver Bullet, the 1985 film about werewolves based on a Stephen King novelette. The fellows get into how Gary Busey isn't a very good uncle, the scientific probability of gas-powered wheelchairs in 1976, firework safety, and guys in bear suits. There's also a lengthy convo about Stephen King film adaptations and how faithful they are and/or ought to be. Happy times!

A completely random choice by Lincoln has given us the film The Factory, a police-procedural-cum-creepy-kidnapper movie starring John Cusack, Jennifer Carpenter, and Mae Whitman. It's a weird'n. They fellas also talk about Lincoln's recent trip to Europe. It's a short episode this week, but next week there will be a return guest and a Christopher Lambert movie, so get ready for that.

With Lincoln out of the country (the lucky sod), Kyle is joined by two lovely and hilarious ladies from LA's SecondHandSmog sketch comedy troupe, Jodie Grundin and Karli Kaiser. Together, they discuss everybody's favorite giant snake movie, Anaconda. That creates a lengthy diversion about animals that frighten them as well as 90s movies everybody loved. If you can't breath you can't scream. But you CAN laugh, turns out.

Check out Karli and Jodie's vlog about speaking Californian. It's hilarious.

TWITTER: @FunctionalNerd, @JodieGrundin, @KarliKaiser, @lincolnlhayes

As is now a What the Fuck Are You Watching?! tradition, Kyle and Lincoln are joined by their dear friend Joey "DeDang" Thomas to celebrate her birthday. That's how much they like her! In keeping with the April theme of movies that start with "A," Joey has chosen a cheapo thriller called Assassin's Bullet starring Christian Slater and Donald Sutherland. The poster makes it look like it will involve action and intrigue, but really it was a huge indulgence by its screenwriter and lead actress. Oy. Slater also provides some of the creepiest falling-in-love/orgasming-in-his-pants scenes ever committed to video. Gross. Happy Birthday, Joey!!

@WTFAreUWatching, @FunctionalNerd, @lincolnlhayes, @joeydedang

The April "A" Train keeps on a-chuggin' with the 1970 British thriller AND SOON THE DARKNESS written by veteran TV writers Brian Clemens and Terry Nation. Kyle and Lincoln also enjoy a good ol' discussion of EVIL DEAD as well as some other movies that the writer of this missive can't remember offhand. It's a banterful episode.